Two friends. Two everyday locations. Two sightings of Ryan Gosling in two days. Posted too late for me to stalk. I know, I know. Generally, I am not starstruck. I think about how I would like people to respond to me if I were just trying to grab some breakfast or do some shopping. I play it cool even through the thrill of recognition. If the opportunity arises, I interact as I would with any stranger. But I have a feeling that a Gosling sighting might lead to a rapid descent into giggling school-girl.
It did lead to a hilarious game of “Hey, Girl” from the perspective of a mom of young children. The conversation began with joking about how we could have our kids “run away” right into him. He’d say, “Hey Girl, cute kids.” Our eyes would meet and he’d throw Eva to the wind. And since we were already in dream land, we continued with the fantasy. I invite you to play along. Or if you have gotten this far and you are a married male, you’re welcome for the tips.
“Hey Girl, you look so sexy in the yoga pants with a smear of Mac and Cheese.”
“Hey Girl, is that Day 2 or Day 3 hair you got goin’ on?”
“Hey Girl, those stretch marks are just souvenirs, signs of the strength of your body.”
“Hey Girl, don’t get up, I’ve got the dishes. Then I’ll give you a massage.”
“Hey Girl, you gonna eat those crackers on the floor of your mini van? I’m kinda hungry.”
“…and I’ll vacuum it for you when we get home. In my boxer briefs.”
“Hey Girl, those aren’t grey hairs, they’re wisdom strands.”
“Hey Girl, do you want these washed in hot or cold?”
“Hey Girl, I love watching you through the windows I am washing.”
“Hey Girl, sorry if my hands are rough. It is all the dishes I have been doing.”
“Hey Girl, how about some hot tea? Then we can snuggle and watch Downton Abbey.”
“Hey Girl, cleaning tubs is my specialty. Relax with this Brunello and trashy magazine.”
Had to get wine in there somewhere, right? Play along. What would Mr. G say to you? And when you read this, Ryan, which I know you will since you read everything written about you, I am right here in Austin and I’d be happy to take you to the hotspots in town. I know where they have the best playgrounds and children’s menus. Bet Eva can’t say that.
7 thoughts on ““Hey Girl…I love SAHMs””
This is Ah-mazing! I SOOO relate to ALL of it! I was laughing out loud 🙂
Thanks for making me laugh today!
Hey girl, one of the things that I find most attractive about you is that even when your yoga pants don’t have pockets, you keep tissues stuffed in your sports bra for when my nose is runny.